Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from January, 2009

..vulnerable..

sesak..
sedey..
ye, ak sgt vulnerable..

pnh dgr soalan ni x?
"av u ever cried in shower?"

ak tmenung kt toilet..
dudk bwh shower n let d water falls on me..
n cried, hard..
n hope dat i wud wash away d pain, d sorrow, d loneliness, d sadness..
n i cried hard..
cuz m a fool..
cuz i tot m prepared..
cuz lyk i said, i tot i was strong..
bt m deym wrong..

ini entry pjg..
kalu ade rasa akn mengutuk ak, dun read..
juz leave..

under d shower, it made me think..
y i tot i was strong, bt yet m very vulnerable..
cuz things keep flashing back in my mind..

when i lived in sabah, i had a family prob..
mama n papa argued a lot..
ak slalu ponteng skola cuz they were arguing all nite..
witnessed wut mama did to make papa say sumtg dat definitely will change our life..
kne tgl sensorg kt kdai mkn cuz mama wanna go back to semenanjung without papa chasing after her..
i was only 11 yrs old..
when i understand wut's going on ard me bt yet cant do anything..
n i tot it make me strong enuf to face anything afterwards.…

..hush, keep quiet, hear me say..

wut do u c? can u c n feel wut's in my heart?



sgt rindu..
maaf..
suda cuba..
tp sgt rindu...



kesakitan..



sy cuba begembira....


tp...


sy ske lihat kamo pkai baju itu..sy rindu..

please stay

..demi waktu..

hmmm....
xtau nk ckp pe..

rs pnat sgt skng ne..
seb bek xda clas pg ne..
da 2 ari badan rasa lemah smcm...


badan rasa lemah sbb ati ak lemah ke?

mgkin..

ak igt when i cried hard dat evening i wont b crying anymore in front him..
n i tot wrong...

i tot, ak kuat nk hadap..
n i tot wrong...

ouh~
ak xle dok sorg² or diam..
nnt ak t'pk then ak nanges..
i am soo weak..

yes..i am weak..

evndo ak nk spend time happily ngn de which ak sgt epy he's with me..
bt how can i b epy when he's not smiling, look miserable?
i cant b epy if he's not..
i only smile when he laugh evndo it hurts me..

tp..it's gud to noe dat de sayang ak..
evn it's too late..

i'll go sbb ak xnk, xske tgk de sedey..
sakit ak nk pergi, sakit lagi looking at him all miserable..

n ak sedey..
i cried hard..n i dunno how to stop..
silly me..

It's not a bird, not a plane
It's my heart and it's going, gone away
My only weakness is you
Only reason is you
Every minute with you
I can feel like I can do anything
I'm Goi…

..selamat tinggal kekasih gelapku, semoga cepat kau lupakan aku..

hmmm
mgkin skrg perasaan ak suda mati kot..

ble suda janji, kamo rasa patut ke tidak utk mungkiri..
sdgkn tiada alasan utk memungkiri..

sudahnya, ak juga yg dpersalahkn..
tidak faham bahasa..tidak memahami..

ku pk, suda settle..
ak suda ckp ape yg ku maw..
ku suda minta kepastian dr de..
ku pk, ku tiada alasan utk bsedey ag..

ak pk, 3 ari yg blalu ne suda m'epy kn ak..
ak pn tiada byk soal (kot??) jika de x msg..
jika de x reply msg ak..
jika de kata maw tdo krn pnat..
ak rasa ak ok aja ngn seme itu..

tp ak sedey ak dpt tau de tpu sdgkn tiada alasan utk dia tpu..
lebey sedey ag ble de kate "so what??"
de tnye ape yg ak nk wat...

hmmm ak x ske pk yg ak ada kuasa m'ugut..
tp ak ada sdikit kemampuan jika maw buat..
tp ak xmo, sbb ak syg..
sbb ak msh hormat..

tp, ak suda dengar ape yg de maw..
akhirnya..secara jujurnya..

cuma...cuma ak maw dgr scr live
biar msk telinga, nmpk d mata terus msk ke ati..
supaya ak bole bsedey, tanpa mganggu de...

hmmmm ak pnat..
mgkin juga perasaan ak da mati..
mgkin ak…

..hari yg ditempuhi, hari bsama kamu..

nthla..terasa spt tiada ati maw apdet..spt mcm² benda maw cite yet mcm xda ape je..
da 3 mgu kot clas start..tiap² ari g class..
pack gle class sem ne..ak tgk clas hns n nina mcm relax je..aish...

psm pn x jln ag..abg macho pn belum ku jupe..
mengelak ada ar hehe ;p
mgu dpn pn ade 4 keje nk kene submit..
mati den..camno ne..

hmmm mb ade stengah org tau ak bek ngn dak laki dlm class ak..
tp itu x bmakna ak xske kawan ngn dak pompuan or ak seorg yg gwdx utk melepak bsama dak laki ye...
cuma ak lg selesa ngn dak² laki tue dr ngn dak² pompuan yg talam dua muka..aite =) hehe
ade je dak pompuan yg ok ngn ak..g class ngn ak..
tp xda la ak nk klasifikasikn mereka as my "gang" kn.. juz mereka yg ak appreciate sbb amek tau psl ak..
sbelum ne, mane ade dak girls pedulik ak dpt nota or any info ke x..bt dis few ppl, mereka sgt baik thadap ak sbb mrk amek tau seme tue..
so it's still not too late to b close to them evn in final yr pn kn?
kwn x semestinya kt cni je..if seme org maw, ur friendship w…

..secret valentine..

mm weekend baru² ini seronok..

tuka hair style baru..

da ckp ngn sum1..n dear, u prmised wont do it again kn..plz dont, eyh..
da byk kali owg ckp, kalu ade pape tell me straight to my face..
jgn wt org cmtu da..plz..

da lama x mkn kinder egg...
sbb dlu ade org slalu beli..

nk spend time ngn d devilz..
aritu kurang sorg...

..utang² tag..

tag 1st dr shepa n ada

1. Do you think you are HOT?
-- x

2. Upload your fav pic



3. Why do you like this picture?
-- xdala ske pn..saje bosan

4. When was the last time u ate pizza?
-- da lama da..

5. The last song u listen to?
-- lovebug kot..tah dlm kete td

6. What are you doing right now besides this?
-- xda wtpe

7. What name u prefer besides yours?
-- none

8. People I tag:-
kasridonaglittersarateahsuhaili
9. Who is No.1?
-- don

10. No.3 is having a relationship with?
-- shakhir sukri

11. Say something about No.2
-- knal dlm blog tp leh lepak lama²

12. How about No.4?
-- budak skola zmn dolu2

tag kedua pn dr shepa

7 CIRI-CIRI LELAKI IDAMAN ANDA
maturebetter than mefun to be withowez wanna make me smilesum1 i can rely onmelayuharuslah tinggi dr ku
7 CIRI-CIRI LELAKI YANG ANDA TAK SUKA
blagak hebatcant accept me seadanyagelojohowez try to find my faultxda inisiatif utk memajukn dirix btanggung jawabxnk berubah diri utk mjadi lebey baik

7 ORANG YANG ANDA PERNAH MINATI SEPANJANG HIDUP
dak 1 van skolah masa tadika dlu…

..10 januAry 2008 - 10 JanuarY 2009..

It's been the longest winter without you,
I didn't know where to turn to.
See, somehow I can't forget you,
After all that we've been through.
Going, coming... thought I heard a knock
Who's there? No one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know,

If you didn't notice, boy, you mean everything.
Quickly I'm learning to love again,
All I know is I'm gon' be okay

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too, ooh yeah
(It'll all get better in time)
And even though I really love you,
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV,
Without something there that would remind me
It wasn't all that easy
To just put aside your feelings.

If I'm dreaming, don't wanna lie,
Hurt my feelings
But that's the path I believe in,
And I know that time will heal it I

f you didn't notice, well
You mean everything.
Quickly I'm learning to love …

..it's time to go..

first of all..
congratz to lil D yg bkl gonna be a dad..!!

org ngn nina epy sgt sbb ktorg bkl jd aunty =)
or mb nina je kot jd aunty sbb hmm..bt wuteva it is..
both of us r happy for u..
congratz again dear...

td g karaoke kt jetty..saje release tensen..
kami berlima..ak, nina, hns, lza n dba..
epy epy..
melalak lalak..
menyanyi nyanyi..
pastu ak nanges..
waaaaa nanges ngn teruknye lak tue..ak da spoilkn mood seme org..
dr epy² seme org cube pujuk ak (sambil menyanyi, of coz..huhu)..
sory kwn² nth nape sengalnye air mata ak tue gwdx nk mcurah²..
time tu lk dorg melalak lagu rela ku pujuk..
huhuhuhu sedey...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sengal..

psm? tah malas nk pk bole?
ouh td kene saman...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

sok tiada d cni..

..bodoh utk setia..

..boDoh utK setIa..
mungkin aku memang cemburu
padanya yang tlah memenangkanmu
namun kuselalu berharap dirimu kembali padaku lagi
selalu kutungguseringkali engkau mendua
tetap saja ada maaf dariku
namun ku tak bisa walau hanya untuk membencimu sedikit saja
walau ku terlukabiar ku nikmati rasa cinta ini
walau bertubi kau acuhkan aku
ku masih tetap setia
biar orang bicara
kau tak layak dicinta
namun tak sanggup ku kehilanganmu
ku bodoh untuk setia

ade org kasi lagu ini..ade sket2 yg same ne weh..haha
class da start..penat tgk byk lecturer dlm sehari..da dua kali da attendance ak kt clas pm jamal 0 gara² lmbt..hehe smpai de igt ak drop..xpe xpe..pasne de x ajar da..evn clas da blalu slama dua jam..keadaan buku ak stil spt ini..muahahaha
trening volley da nk start..chepul swoh ready utk g course mprb kt unisel nnt..nnt byk evnt mprb nk pkai..actually wat ak tpk, cane eh..ak stil mpro ke nnt? itu pn kene tgu bln 2 ms evnt npl bru ku sedar kewujudan ak kt mpro ke x..hehe ye ar..ak sendri pn jrg join pape.…

..run..run..

hmm rasa d ati x puas selagi x btentang 4 mata..
seyes, jiwaku perlu ketenangan..

cian lil D..eh little D..
da 2 malam de tdo dlm kete...
asek lupe nk bwk de nek..
da la gmok jr kene tgl kt sunway..
xpe eyh mok, mgu dpn ikot blk mlk eyh cyg...muahx muahx..

lookin 4wd 4 dis weekend..

ouh..deym..
srabut ak tgk jadual class ak..
plg menyeksakn ari jumaat ade class ptg..huarghhhh
da la skang de wat kuliah sejam sejam..
bcelaru ak tgk jadual tu..
pening den..

weekend ne n nxt weeknd suda ada planning..
arap² insyaAllah dedua bjalan dgn lancarnya sementara msh sdikit kaya..

td dgr lagu yg lama x dgr..hurmmmm

I don't want you, to give it all up
And leave your own life, collecting dust
And I don't want you, to feel sorry for me
You never gave us, a chance to be

And I don't need you, to be by my side
To tell me, that everything's alright
I just wanted you, to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Cause I did enough, to show you that I
Wa…