..m addicted to drug..

Hi..

saje nk apdet sbb rs cam blog da tbiar.
ye ye ak tau ak slalu ckp cmni.
tp bkn ade org sgt bc blog ne..as far as i concern la..
org yg dlu rajin ade pn, skarang ne paksa pn jgn arap de nk type addrs neh kt browser de..
hahah

actually otak tgh blur gle skang..
dgn kondisi ati yg x pnah meningkat..
dan juga keadaan diri yg semakin sorot..

fikir2 balik kn, ape kene la ngn ak..
smpai need to take drug(read:prescribed meds) semata2 utk tdo..
sdangkan tdo adalah satu perkara yg xpnah jd masalah utk ak sblom ne..
sbb stress kah?
hurm i av to b frank dat these few days mmg ak stressed out.
stressed sgt yg amat.
menyebabkn ak mmg nk tuka keje len (tu cte len yg da lapuk)..
time wat psm dlu pn x stress mcm ne even grade da mcm ujung tanduk..
sket lg mau fail..tp msh bole tdo..

kadang2 kn..ak rs cam robot.
pegi keje mcm org gle, sdangkn ak rasa org gle pn x keje cm ak..
kene buat keje yg sama berulang kali not bcuz d nature of d job, bt bcuz of org yg ak xplain 45 kali pn dorg xpaham n lepas tangan..
itu bmakna m doing a stupid job dat wasting my time n actually wasting their money too..
beli kete baru bole, claim ak bbulan x bayar ag..ak xdpt mkn ns ak mkn kete ko buleh?
blk keje lmbt, dgn arapan badan pnat, otak jammed bole berehat..
duduk dpn tv utk relax dgn harapan cpt la mata mberat utk beradu..
last2 pkul 3 4 pg jugk ak tdo..
sgt tdk bagus utk diri sendri..

ye, ak tau, keje kt mn2 pn ade stress nye juga..
tp bkn ak sorg je yg whining, ade juga org len..
bmakna, bkn ak sorg yg stress..
pd u guys, kalu keje lg lewat dr org yg bkeje d tempat tsebut..
pastu mkn x menentu..
bdiri pn rs mcm bdiri atas air (hebat gle), thuyung hayang..
is it safe to drve back home? mgkn patut tdo saje kt kilang..
dgn bdn pnat otak jam (stoberi?yummy), paksa diri utk fokus ats jalan..
stakat ne mampu btahan lg..
ak bkn crying baby..
kalu mengadu pn, nobody wud care..
mcm ada sorg kawan ak cakap, "ko slalu saket, da biasa" bila ak ckp kesihatan makin truk smpai mc (tp maseh pegi bkeje mcm org gila)..
kalu mengadu kt kesayangan hati pn tiada guna..
he doesnt care..for what?
dia ada masa sng ak saje, ms ak susah n sakit de xpnah ade (apela gle kpale otak ak sayang org yg xpnah ade utk ak)..

kdg2kn..
ms tgh drve blk dgn otak da merayau ke mana..
unconsciously steering d wheel (dlu ade org mrh ms ttdo d trefik lite, skarang telefon pn xsudi nk bbunyi..haha)
ok again..
unconsciously steering d wheel..
ak mcm curious, if right there on that time sumtg juz happen.
nauzzubillah tp juz sumtg happen..
how do ppl dat knows me will react?
 what will they do?
will they be happy without me arnd?
will they remember me?
will they even miss me?
or willl i b d person dat "oh, i used to know her.fullstop."
i will never know..never..


haih sepatutnya sekarang sdg mengemas utk ke luar negeri (negeri,bkn negara)..
rs mcm tiada keterujaan utk ke sana..
yg lain pn spt tiada bunyi2 teruja (ouh, mereka sdg bgembira)..
ini pertama kali sjk 2004 ak bjalan2 tanpa ahli keluarga..
bkn bharap yg buruk, tp bknkah lebih baik meminta maaf sbelum tlewat?
jika apa2, ak hulurkn sepuluh jari tangan bserta tapak tangan memohon maaf..
aku harap kalian ada sesuatu yg baik tentang ak untuk dfikirkn kelak..
bdoalah ak selamat, terima kasih..

bye

..sementara boleh disenyum..

holla!

huhu rajin sungguh mengapdetkn?
hahaha xpe, mood tgh baek..

ati sunggug riang arini..
kenapa?
sbb arini saya jupe lil D utk lunch..
dan arini sy bmain badminton d bkt jelutong..
bsama lil D n dak2 swichtec yg len..
mestilah gembira bukan?
bersama kesayangan ati..
pastu had fun yg sgt seronok..
hahah exaggerate gle..
sungguh..
gembira sungguh yg teramat arini..
bkn senang mau dpt ari yg mgembirakn seperti ini..
apetah lg ak da lama x bsosial, it's juz fun..
dan mengingat juga memori yg lama..
tp memori ttp memori..
sekadar boleh mengingat, tp x bole re-live it..
tp close to dat is more than enuf..
sbb tu kte perlu cherish every moment of every second =)

mokmok cyg,
thnx a lot for today..
really appreciates it..
n i owe u for dat =)
luv ya!

men badminton pn da over excited perempuan ne..
hahha ko tatau perasaan nye, so juz bear with it..
ak juz gembira..so let me be it..
boleh kn?

ok bye =)

..updated!timba ilmu d perigi sekolah?..

Hi..

ok arini mcm rajin nk apdet blog.
tetbe cam ade idea nk apdet.

well, xdala menarik sgt..
juz nk share some memories.
certain ppl do know yg ak kn slalu pndah randah (slalu la sgt) time kecik2 dlu..
i've stayed few states around my years..
skolah pn da byk da skolah ak pnah msuk..
so tetbe rasa cam nk share sket psl skolah ak pnah attend up to..
mgkn dr kindergarten, bt i'm not very sure of the yr..
tp xpela kn



KINDERGARTEN

• Canning Garden, Ipoh, Perak (1991-1992)

x igt sgt pn psl dis school. tp i do remember yg ak pnah ade sports day, nek bus pegi tadika.igt sket2 je =)

• St Martin's Kindergarten, Kota Bharu, Kelantan (1992)

bangunan belakang tu la class dlu..huhu

when we moved to KB, ak msuk tadika ne kt jln pengkalan chepa. pegi nek van skolah, most of them are chinese. actually it was a kindergarten yg dijaga oleh church (as u can see the tadika's name). Kami pkai skirt, xmcm tadika len..huhu..ms ak darjah satu cam pelik gk la sbb rmai yg tadika kt tg anis or tadika fatima(kot?). bt i do have fun there, n my 1st crush too *wink2*..haha

PRIMARY SCHOOL

• SK Zainab 1,  Ipoh, Perak (1993-1996) (1998)

pagar depan skolah

skolah rendah 1st ak msuk..first class was 1 Hijau smpai darjah 3 sbb bile darjah 4 bru tukar kelas which ak msuk class 1st which is 4 Putih. Masa zaman ne kire antara budak pndai la kt sane..haha masa darjah 4, my family moved to other state. Bt masa darjah 6 i came back n msuk 2nd class, which is 6 Kuning sbb dorg kate class putih da full (bgus jugak, sbb time tu ak rasa dak class putih mcm blagak je..huhu jgn mrh sape yg baca neh). I scored 5As in my UPSR dan blaja men volley kt sini juga. ouh ya, ini sekolah semua perempuan

• SK Marian Convent, Ipoh, Perak (1997-1997)

centered building yg consist pjabat skolah

Ms ne papa pndah KK tp sbb b.cik PMR dat yr, ak n mama pndah Ipoh dlu..dlu k.ida pn skolah sini, so mcm legacy gk kot?(merapu). agk pelik skolah d sini sbb yelah ak da bthun skola kt kltn kn, so cm pelik la jupe rmai non-muslim n cr bpkaian sgale bgai. time skolah kt sini ak hebat men chess..hahaha. tu je kot kehebatan ak. ak xigt clas ape ak msuk, tp rs cam nama bunga je.haha ok abaikn..ini juga sekolah semua perempuan (read: convent)

• SK Konven St Francis, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah (1997-1998)

ne tgh2 bangunan..kt tmpt dak2 tu bbaris la tmpt ak bbaris dlu

Masa ne kami pndah sabah. not the best moment of my life.abaikan. kelas pn ak x igt sgt msuk clas ape. d only person yg ak still contact (mcm je la), madonna je kot. i dont rili remember other ppl. kt sini lg la ak cultural shock.haha time skolah start kul 7, so pegi skolah kul 5 pg smpai kul 6 stengah. time ne da ready nk UPSR n sbenarnye ak calon skolah ne, bkn calon skolah zainab..kt zainab ak menumpang jek, tp dpt anugerah dr skolah zainab..kelakar kn?hahaha as usual, skolah convent maknanye skola seme perempuan

SECONDARY SCHOOL

• SMK Zainab 1, Kota Bharu, Kelantan (1999)

pagar dpn xsilap ak..haha ak pn da x igt..

it's one of the top school in KB(kalu x silap aku la)..so kami yg dr skolah rendah zainab, of kos la nk smbung blaja kt sini kn kalu xdpt SBP or MRSM. ak msuk skolah sbulan je kot?ak pn xsure sgt..hahaha ms tu clas 1 gamma. n of kos rmai dak2 skolah rendah ak msuk sini, lgpn dpn skolah rendah ktorg je pn. da get used to skolah tuh..tp as i sed, skola sbulan je pn..ini juga skolah semua perempuan

• MRSM Pasir Tumboh, Kota Bharu, Kelantan (1999-2001)

dewan seri mutiara..dpt nama time ktorg form1 kot..

well dpt tawaran kt sini. it was d greatest 3yrs of my life. ak rs la cam epy jek skolah sini. scored straight As for PMR, have friends dat i still contact skarang. ak rasa rmai jek dak2 pt yg bjaya. we still having our reunion or get together now n then. mgkn kte bole plan a huuugeeeee reunion nt? or kene tgu 2012 utk wat reunion bsar2an?hahahahaa time kt sini ak msuk clas elite pn ye, kene trun class pn ye. Hampir msuk JDM pn ye..haha those old days =) seb bek gk x msuk tkc..kalu x i dont noe la cane ak skarang..huhu

• MRSM Taiping, Taiping, Perak (2002-2003)

seswai ngn lagu wawasan mrsm taiping..sungguh indah n mhijau

sbenarnye ak xdpt msuk tepeng pn sbb ujian apetah tuh ak failed(kot?). ak sbenarnye dpt offer g MRSM Lenggong @ Chenderoh. Tp sjk de buka offer sape dpt stret A bole msuk MRSM Bitara (mcm skolah bestari la), so mama suruh msuk tepeng..kalu ikotkn ati nk msuk PC sbb dak2 pt rmai kt sane.huhu sbulan yg pertama mmg la sucks dgn perangai senior yg xkalah mcm budak (i do noe yg ade senior do know my blog, so no hard feeling ok)..yelah, psl msuk DS pkai kasut pn jd hal..huhu very childish i might say..xpe, kami had a good laugh abt it..ak rs cam x ngam sgt skolah sini, but my classmates were awesome! dak2 clas 10 cam unik sket ak rasa..ak rs dak class 9 sgt la tseksa ade kami yg dok class sbelah ske bsg2..haha dlm clas ne ade ldp, bwp n emc pn ade..those guys were fun, cume ak je xle cope ngn blaja.haha jd dak biro kebajikan yg handle psl bas blk kg,kami dpt untung ok ;) my SPM? okla..xdela trok sgt..tp ok..ouh ya, kt sini la 1st time puasa jauh dr rumah..

so i guess dat's all..so sape2 yg stumbled upon dis blog n happened to went the same school jgn lupa say hi to me..if u do remember me la..haha

igt nk aplod gmba, tp mcm xdapek jek..nt la ade masa ak apdet..

p/s: gmba dicilok setelah digugel..kpd tuan2 gmba kalu tgk gmba ne wa mnta halal eyh..maceh

ok la, bye

..it has been 3 years..

hi.

ye da 3thn sjk ak officially jd single..
evn ak mcm da x mengaku ex ak yg last tuh..
tp da 3thn la ak bstatus single yg x taken..huhu

arini juga new lunar year.
so to all Chinese, Happy Chinese New Year guys.
May the year of the tiger, brings u prosperity..
td mkn dabel prosperity beger..

sbenarnye xda idea pn nk apdet.
juz trase nk apdet.
da kul 6, tp still blom tdo.
mb sbb pnat seharian kmas umah.
td jupe dila, amek keropok2 yg de bwk dr sbh..
smpat jupe kjap je, tp thnx dila, kte simpan SR utk nxt time =)

smlm (eh 2mlm lepas).
jupe lil D.
i was very sure that he wont see me again after wut happened last sunday.
tp smlm ak beg utk jupe de for a minute (ok, phm, ak pathetic)
sbb last saturday, ak salam de without knowing it was d last time ak salam n cium tgn de.
sbb ble kami bperang ari ahad tu, ak lgsg x bsalam ngn de.
so, he granted my wish yesterday.
mmg da nanges2 da otw ke sana,bkn nk bdrama mnta smpati
cuma mmg hati da x tertahan bila mengenangkn it wud b my last time utk menatap kesayangan hati.
hati mmg da redha da utk salam, cium tangan dan berlalu.
tp ble ak smpai de tros peluk ak,lecture me a bit dan made me promise yg ak xkn wat bnda bodo mcm tu. n he hugged me again, tightly.
n i just wept, he just hold me tight.
ak mmg xbsedia nk lepaskn dia, blom cukup kuat hati ni.
dan mungkin, just a maybe, he feels d same way too.(ak nk sdapkn ati)
sblom blk pn ak salam n cium tangan de lama2, sbb i was afraid it wud b my last time.
he hold my head n looked me in d eyes n said
"look at me, dont do that ever again. u've promised"
dan for the rest of d nite, he made me smiled.
n he became someone i used to know.
dan dia sudah selamat smpai ke destinasi n he did informed me like used to do.
n cyg, i was thankful for that. =)

arini rmai yg kawen n btunang.
so i wished u guys all the best n hope ur love story will never end.

oklah, mahu mandi dan tidur.
toodles =)

..miserable thot produces unhealthy life..

hi..

nth knape skarang da mls nk apdet.
mgkn sbb xda org bc? (like ak amek tau org bc x b4..haahaha)
teda masa? mgkn..
teda idea..mgkn..
atau ilang punca? ape kene mengena?

last wiken will nvr b d best wiken in my life.
shud b voted as the worst wiken. mng tanpa btanding pn buleh.
it wasnt my proudest moment, ever.
n to d person, m sorry.
a simple sorry wont make it up for it, like u said.
i noe it, bt it's d best dat i can do.
i cant bring u flower or buy u luxury gift cuz i cant afford it.
juz my sincere(ati plg sincere lah ckp) apology jek.
nk mnta maaf nanges2 pujuk rayu pn xle..haha
like u will ever gonna see me again.

skarang mood utk buat apa saje pn xda.
seyesly.
pegi keje, wat keje, srabut ngn keje, blk keje, tgk tv, tdo.
tu je wut i've been doing.
tnyalah rakan2 loser (atau ada yg da ex loser spnjang ak xjupe korang?)
mereka pn akan kata da sbulan x jupe ak.
d last time i socialized pn ms jupe hns, zam, nina, dath ngn kwn2 dath..
lpas tu life ak, umh,ofis,kilang panasonic ngn FF(ne pn da jrg pegi).
bosan kn?
loser kn?
hahaha

arini start period.
xpnah nk period ak rsau2..
slalu period bgumbira jek.
skang kalu period jek rsau..
huhu as doc haslina pnah sbot, DUB might happen again.
so i need to watch my stress level, my diet n my health.
xsanggup da ilang darah byk2 cmtu..
xsanggup da msuk spital.
da la msuk spital xda sape nk eran pn..
or kalu ak xda da dlm dunia ne, nobody wud care kot?huhu abaikn.
abaikan abaikan..

td ms balik tdengar 1 lagu neh.
tajuk de Follow Me by Uncle Kraker
shud dedicate this to lil D.
abaikn..huhuhu

mau tdo.sok ada appointment ngn customer.
haih another long day.
btw, ak ade jemputan majlis pkahwinan kt KB
mau pegi, rndu sama suasana idup d sana.
tp xda tmpt nk tgl n knderaan ke sana pn.
xda rezeki kot?

if in case i dont write for another i-dont-know-how-long..
Happy Chinese New Year, the year of a Tiger(ak lahir thn rimau..1986)..
dan happy Valentine.(dah jgn lecture psl kafir ke ape..take it in our good way)
nanyte

..fuh fuh..

Hello...

Dah lama x apdet blog..rindu pulak..muahahaha
Well, i've been bz for these past weeks..
with ian was arnd for this past month, mmg amat menyeksakn..

hurm td mcm ade idea nk apdet..ne da xda da.
mane ilang idea pn tatau..

kondisi diri?
pnat, tdo x cukop, tp kesihatan mcm ok je..
da kurang da migraine which is good la kn?
juz kdg2 je idung soksek sbb ade 3 eko dak nakal kt umah..
other than that, i'm fine, i guess..

kondisi ati?
haih~
nth la..
kadang2 juz rasa mcm i dont care anymore.
or mgkn tlalu pnat utk amek peduli.
well dis so called relationship(which is not) have passed the 2yrs milestone.
who had guessed that we will b arnd this far..kn?
hm smlm pn gado gk..cant remember cane leh start..
tp of kos la mst ak yg start..yep, come n blame it on me =)
n i ended up with saying sumtg..
sumtg yg i hope he'll b happy to hear it..
i do hope u do, dear..
mgkn bole buang saja segala kenangan.
mgkn bole buang saja semua barangan itu..
mungkin it'll be easier for u.
mungkin it'll make u feel a lot better..
haih~ u shud nvr promised no to hurt me..
sbb it does hurts me more..


sbenarnye kn.
da lama x nanges kuat2 mcm smlm..
xda la kuat smpai 1 blok dgr, wut i mean btol2 nanges..
pastu rasa cam lega sket..
yela mgkn sjk kebelakangan ne ape2 yg ak terasa ak juz diam..
tahan diri utk nanges..
tahan diri utk look strong..
jd makanya ble dpt nanges skali, tros lega..
xlega sgt la sbb gado, tp rasa ati da ringan..
mgkn ringan sbb ati pn da kosong, ati da mati..
pastu sudahnye xle tdo sbb rs lenguh2 cam nk dmm..
pastu msuk opis dgn mata puffy..
1 sbb utk x best utk ari isnin yg biru ini (da la wilayah cuti arini..cis)
hahaha ak pn tatau ape ak merapu..
otak da x stable da..

ye, ye mmg buang masa baca..
xyh baca..
bye