..i bid thou farewell..

hey december.
it's ur last day =)

byk bnda nk cte utk wrap up 2010.
tp nantilah.

i am leaving kl in a few hours.
gonna celebrate my new year far from the hectic city.
gonna attend my ex-roomate/housemate/faculty-mate/university-mate/etc
and i got another 2 invitations on sunday.
semua org dah nak kawen. masaklah lepas ni dgn Qs of "bila nak kahwin?"
don't worry, i will when i will.
2010 masih belum bertemu jodoh lg.
it's a mystery aite, it comes when it wants.

hurm ape lagi ye.
hopefully this coming new year will bring me everything good.
hope it will do the good to you all too...

ok lah, nk kemas.
hanis kate lambat tinggal.
i bid u farewell twentyten.
let's keep the good memories and leave behind the bitterness. ya?

ouh,
selamat pengantin baru kepada:

rosliza dan ajai

natasha amiera dan fadhli

syariati dan hakim

may ur marriage be blessed by Allah.
wishing u guys all the best =)

ok bye

pies: da lambat!!!!

..pagi2 jumaat dah membebel..

done with the first draft..
gle x suka buat documentations.
tmbh lg on thing yg aku tatau..
ini semua maybank nye psl..
wuwuwuwuwu
well i know what is EO for n the basic trading process..
bt i dont have the slightest idea how EO works..
mksud aku the process behind EO..
pastu suruh prepare docs -_-"
the only time aku sentuh EO just masa training yg susan bg je..
wuwuwuwuwu

msuk arini da 4 hari kt dataran maybank..
tiap2 ari withdraw duit..
makin surut duit aku..
duit ade lg, tp nk guna mgu dpn utk exam..
itu satu hal..
tak study pape lg utk exam..
matila kalu x pass..
ne da 2nd time..
nt nk amek blk kene bayar sendri..wuuuuuu

nk membebel sbenarnye..
tp tgn da saket..
penat menaip..
pastu nk tdo jp la b4 siap2 g maybank (lagi!)

nanyte

..entry luah perasaan..

tak minat dgn cerita masalah, jgn baca.
it's not worth ur time 

we must have an end to have a new beginning.




sbb tu ke aku masih takde new chapter?
sbb chapter yg lama still x habis.


talked to lil D abt us.
well not really talk, just texting.
tp x pnah dia nk involve dlm conversation yg begitu.


mungkin sbb it's very clear our end is approaching.
cuma tak tahu mcm mane mahu tamatkannya.
basically, it's only left couple of weeks for me to have a good chance of seeing him.
tp takde la sgt ade chance, even utk texting skarang pn susah.
nt lagi lah, juz during working hour, selain dr tu jgn mimpi.
so sangatlah clear mmg ni petunjuk yg we have to end this.


dia tnya, apa dia patut buat.
well, aku sendri pn da buat ape yg terdaya for the past 3 years.
smpai skrg nk buat ape pn da mati kutu.
he said mb kami perlu cut the conversation meeting etc.
hm da byk cut da sejak dlu.
dia ckp cuba dgn sepenuh hati.
kalau tnye aku, ape yg xpenah aku paksa diri utk biarkan dia happy?
dan dia ckp kami patut cuba.
after 3 yrs?
selepas 3 thn it definitely wont be easy.
sdgkn masa tahun pertama pun da susah nk dead, apetah lgi 3 thn.
it wud b effing hell to go through.
aku pnah byk kali minta dia pergi masa tahun pertama, masa perasaan ini tak berapa kuat. but he's still here.
dia byk kali tinggalkn aku, sakitkn aku masa tahun kedua sampai sekarang ble hati dh betul2 tetap. tp kami masih di sini.
sekarang penghalang besar sudah di depan mata, mmg patut benda ni kene berakhir.
bukan aku tak nak..sape sanggup tgk kesayangan hati tak gembira bila kehadiran kamu tak dperlukan.
sape sanggup tengok kesayangan hati miserable?
yes, aku sayang dia. tapi ramai org ckp, kte akan happy kalau our loved ones is happy.
so m trying to do this for myself n him.
well not trying, have to.
dr dlu aku paksa diri, maybe now i need to push myself harder.
i definitely gonna miss him n i wud definitely suffer.
but apa lagi nk buat?
i cant stay.
it's not my place.


mok, org minta maaf kehadiran org selama 3thn ni menyusahkn awk. i know u're gonna be much happier without me. hidup awk da ada sini, awk x perlukan org lagi. as much as i love u, as much as i hate not to have u around, but i know i should go. tp siapa nk dengar org nanges2 mlm2 ttg my bad day bila awak dh takde nnt? sape nk layan my stupid stories when u're not around? m gonna miss everything about u. everything. doakan org dapat seorang yg boleh gnti awak, seorang yg care ttg org lebih dr awak, seorang yg takkan tinggalkn org. doakn org jumpa jodoh sebagaimana u found yours n pray i would have a wonderful family like yours. seorang lelaki yg jadi suami org dan a great father mcmane awk pd aiman.


pies: definitely pathetic mode.

..buku baru..

segala yg berlaku, aku yakin Tuhan sudah merancang.
aku rasa berita yg aku terima tu petunjuk
aku rasa ape yg blaku juga petunjuk
mungkin berkat doa mereka yg ke Tanah Suci =)

mmg aku hilang hati
tapi siapa aku nk mempersoalkn
tp aku rasa kali ini, lebih tabah
mcm aku ckp, mungkin lebih tabah kerana hati juga telah mati
tiada perasaan

tapi, siapa nk mempersoalkan urusan-Nya?
mungkin ini yg Dia siapkn untuk buku baru aku.
mungkin..


Salam Maal Hijrah.
harapnya, tahun baru, buku baru ini lebih bermakna, lebih bersih =)



pies: melampau tak kalau tahun baru ini berharap sesorang yg boleh jadi peneman suka duka sepanjang hidup muncul?


piespi: kalau ikot tahun hijrah, thn ne dah 3thn lil D masih d hati. i hope it stays that way but it is never possible as u r not mine. :'(

..mungkin..

Lagu kegemaran sebelum dia femes dgn lagu Fall For You.
1st time kenal dia melalui lagu ni dkt Yahoo! Radio.
Masa tu tengah study final 2nd year.
Lagu aku dgn kawan baik..kot?
Lagu yg masih suka sampai sekarang.
Lagu yg fits me well.

Maybe by Secondhand Serenade

Didn't you want to hear the sound of all the places we could go?

Do you fear the expressions on the faces we don't know?

It's a cold hard road when you wake up and I don't think that I

Have the strength to let you go

Maybe it's just me, couldn't you believe

That everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving?

And the tear in your eye and your calm hard face

Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

There goes my ring, it might as well have been shattered

And I'm here to sing about the things that mattered

About the things that made us feel alive for, oh, so long

About the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong

And someday, I promise I'll be gone

And someday, I might even sing this song to you

I might even sing this song to you, to you, to you

And I was crying alone tonight

And I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you

So just come back we'll make it better

So just come back, I'll make it better than it ever was

I'll make it better than it ever was

..check reality check..

1.
Jangan expect semua orang akan jujur pada kau.

2.
Jangan harap semua orang suka pada kau.

3.
Jangan fikir semua orang fikir kau baik.

4.
Jangan rasa diri kau diterima semua orang.

5.
Jangan ingat diri kau disenangi semua.

6.
Jangan mimpi orang faham akan kondisi kau.


Tapi,
selagi kau igt semua ni.
U shud b fine.
Jangan terlampau riak
Jangan terlampau bangga
Jangan terlampau takbur.
Jangan terlampau meninggi sebab nanti kau jugak yg jatuh.
Well, reality hurts.

When it does happens, it's not my fault that you annoyed some people.
Really, it doesnt have anything to do with me.

Same goes to me.